The other day, my son looked at me after I guided him through something (in my usual way) and said, “Dad… you’re devious.”
He didn’t mean it with judgment. In fact, he said it with admiration, and a touch of playful disbelief.
And honestly? He’s not wrong.
You see, I don’t teach in the traditional sense. I don’t spoon-feed answers. I don’t give step-by-step instructions wrapped in a ribbon. That’s not how growth happens. That’s how parroting happens. And I’m not here to raise parrots.
I plant a seed. I step back. I let the discomfort, the curiosity, and even the chaos do the watering.
By the time they get it, by the time the realization lands in their minds and they feel the click, that “aha” moment that sticks for life, they genuinely believe they figured it out on their own.
And that’s the point.
Because the truth is: they did. I just choreographed the dance behind the scenes.
Why I Refuse to Give Easy Answers
In a world obsessed with speed and efficiency, parenting has become transactional:
- Fix the tantrum.
- Solve the question.
- Explain the why.
- Keep the peace.
But that kind of parenting creates compliance, not consciousness.
It raises children who wait to be told. It produces adults who depend on authority. It shapes minds that seek answers outside themselves.
And that’s the exact opposite of what I want for my children.
I want them to:
- Think critically.
- Feel deeply.
- Make mistakes with awareness.
- Discover answers through presence, not programming.
The Method Behind the Madness
People sometimes ask me how I “coach” my children. I don’t. I live with them. I reflect them. I challenge them with silence.
Sometimes, I drop one sentence and walk away. Other times, I ask a question I know will sit with them for days. And occasionally, I say nothing at all and let life show them.
Because life is the best teacher.
And our job is not to protect them from lessons.
It’s to make sure they have the inner tools to receive them.
That’s what devious teaching is. It’s not manipulation. It’s mastery.
Parenting Is Not a Performance—It’s Programming
Every word we say programs something. Every reaction codes their inner map. Every moment of silence teaches presence or avoidance.
We’re not just raising children.
We’re raising future leaders. Future partners. Future creators.
So I don’t care if my child knows the “right” answer.
I care if they know how to sit in the unknown and still breathe.
I care that they ask why, even if it’s uncomfortable. I care that they notice patterns others miss. I care that they can trust their gut before they trust the crowd.
That doesn’t come from lectures.
It comes from intentional tension. From thoughtful design. From—yes—a little deviousness.
For the Conscious Parents Reading This
If your child struggles with questions, let them. If they don’t get it right away, let them wrestle with it. If they come back days later and tell you something profound, you did it right.
This world doesn’t need more obedient children. It needs more free thinkers. More emotionally aware leaders. More souls who don’t need to be told who they are.
And the only way to raise them is to stop parenting for comfort and start parenting for consciousness.
Yes, it might look devious. Yes, it might take more time. Yes, it might be misunderstood.
But trust me: when you see your child connect dots on their own, when you see them light up because they figured it out…
You’ll know it wasn’t devious. It was divine.
@CoachG_X
Conscious Parenting | Mindful Fatherhood | Raising Thinkers, Not Parrots
