By Coach G | Life, Mind & Spiritual Coaching
coach-g.com
Hey, you. Yeah, you, the one who’s been meditating, journaling, maybe even chanting “I’m aligned” while sipping that awesome organic kombucha. You’ve read The Power of Now, you know your chakras, and you’ve got a vision board that screams “manifestation.” But let’s get real for a second. If you’re still feeling stuck, if your relationships are a mess, or if you’re triggered more than you’d like to admit, you might be caught in a sneaky trap: spiritual bypassing.
I’ve seen it in so many people I’ve coached, beautiful souls who think they’re awake but are still sleepwalking through their pain. I’ve been there too, dodging the hard stuff with a smile and a “love and light” mantra. But here’s the truth: no amount of affirmations will fix what you’re too scared to face. Let’s get into what spiritual bypassing really is, why it’s holding you back, and how to break free, my way, raw and real, with a touch of quantum psychology to back it up.
What the Hell Is Spiritual Bypassing?
Spiritual bypassing is when you use spiritual practices or beliefs to dodge the messy, uncomfortable parts of yourself: your trauma, your anger, your shame. It’s like slapping a “high vibe only” sticker on a wound that’s actually still bleeding.
You’re not being fake. You’re just scared. I get it. It’s easier to say “everything happens for a reason” than to sit with the rage of being betrayed. It’s simpler to call your pain a “lesson” than to feel the heartbreak. But when you bypass, you’re not healing, you’re actually hiding. You’re building a spiritual persona that looks awake but keeps you stuck in the same old loops.
John Welwood, the psychologist who coined the term in the 1980s, described it as using spirituality to avoid unresolved emotional issues. Research backs this up: studies in The Journal of Positive Psychology (2020) show that suppressing negative emotions under the guise of “staying positive” can increase stress and anxiety over time. You’re not transcending, you’re repressing. And your subconscious? It’s keeping score about all of it.
Signs You’re Spiritually Bypassing (No Judgment, Just Truth)
I’ve coached people who swore they were “healed” but were still running from themselves. Here’s how spiritual bypassing shows up, see if any of these hit home:
- You dismiss your emotions as “low vibration.” Feeling angry? Sad? That’s not “unenlightened”—that’s human. Brushing it off as “negative energy” is like ignoring a check-engine light.
- You intellectualize your pain. You can explain your trauma like a PhD, but when’s the last time you felt it? Analysis isn’t healing, it’s avoidance.
- You escape conflict with “love and light.” Someone crosses a boundary, and instead of calling it out, you sprinkle some spiritual jargon and call it forgiveness. That’s not peace; that’s people-pleasing.
- You avoid boundaries to seem “unconditionally loving.” Real love sets boundaries. Dodging them to stay “spiritual” just invites more chaos.
- You repress anger, sadness, or grief. Calling it “transcendence” doesn’t make it go away, it festers. A 2021 study in Emotion found that suppressing emotions can lead to higher cortisol levels and even physical health issues.
- You play the “observer” but ignore your inner child. You’re detached, watching your life like a movie, but you’ve never sat with the part of you that’s still hurting from childhood.
- You use “non-attachment” as a shield. It’s not freedom if you’re just avoiding vulnerability.
- You consume spiritual content like it’s Netflix. More books, more retreats, more mantras—but your patterns? Same old, same old.
If you’re nodding, don’t beat yourself up. Awareness is the first step. The goal isn’t to shame you at all, it’s to wake you up.
Why We Bypass (and Why Your Mind Loves It)
Spiritual bypassing isn’t laziness, it’s survival. If you’ve been through trauma (and who hasn’t?), your brain is wired to protect you. Meditation feels safer than shame. Quoting Rumi is easier than admitting you feel broken. According to Neuroscience Letters (2019), the brain’s default mode network kicks into overdrive when we avoid emotional processing, creating stories to keep us comfortable.
But here’s the kicker: your mind craves control, not healing. It’ll convince you that you’re “working on yourself” while you’re just decorating your emotional cage. Real healing? That’s messy. It’s sitting with the pain you’ve been running from. It’s what I call the dark initiation, the moment you stop performing spirituality and start living it.
I’ve seen this in my coaching practice. People come to me after years of retreats, thinking they’re “almost there.” But their relationships keep imploding. Their triggers keep firing. Why? Because they’re bypassing the shadow, the unprocessed pain that’s still running the show.
Quantum Psychology: Why You Can’t Fake Healing
Quantum psychology, which I weave into my coaching, explains that your inner frequency shapes your outer reality. You can’t fake that. You can say “I’m healed” all day, but if your subconscious is still carrying old wounds, your life will reflect it. You’ll attract people who mirror your unresolved pain. You’ll manifest situations that poke at your deepest fears.
A 2022 study in Frontiers in Psychology supports this: our subconscious beliefs influence our decision-making and relationships more than our conscious thoughts. Your energy doesn’t lie. Your nervous system doesn’t care how many yoga classes you’ve taken, it wants integration, not escapism.
In my work, we don’t just talk about healing. We retrain your nervous system to regulate, your mind to stop spinning stories, and your heart to lead with truth. It’s not about adding more spiritual tools, it’s about using what you’ve got to face what’s real.
The Cost of Bypassing (and Why It’s Not Worth It)
When you spiritually bypass, you’re not just delaying healing—you’re keeping yourself stuck. Here’s what it costs:
- Delayed Transformation: You stay trapped in the same loops, wondering why nothing changes.
- Ego in Disguise: You’re not “enlightened”, you’re performing. The ego loves a spiritual mask.
- Disconnection from Your Body: Bypassing cuts you off from your nervous system, where real healing happens. A 2023 Journal of Psychosomatic Research study links emotional suppression to chronic stress and physical pain.
- Perpetuated Suffering: You’re not free: You’re just pretending to be.
I’ve coached people who spent decades “doing the work” but were too afraid to face their shadows. They were spiritually polished but emotionally stuck. The cost? Years of missed connections, unhealed wounds, and a life that felt like a performance.
What Real Healing Looks Like (Spoiler: It’s Not Instagram-Worthy)
Healing isn’t pretty. It’s raw, chaotic, and sometimes feels like falling apart. But that’s where the magic happens. It’s:
- Crying without shame. Let the tears come. They’re not “low vibe”, they’re release.
- Feeling your rage. Anger isn’t the enemy; blaming others is. Let it move through you.
- Speaking your truth. No more spiritualizing your silence. Say what needs to be said.
- Taking accountability. Own your part without drowning in guilt.
In my practice, we don’t skip that mess. We go deep into it, and we do it consciously. We use quantum psychology to rewire your subconscious, regulate your nervous system, and align your energy with your truth. It’s not about floating above your pain, it’s about walking through it with courage.
Why My Coaching Isn’t for Everyone
Let’s be real: this work isn’t for the faint of heart. If you want a quick fix or someone to stroke your ego, I’m not your guy. If you’d rather stay in the “love and light” bubble than face your shadows, we’re not a match.
But if you’re done running from your patterns…
If you’ve tried the meditations, the affirmations, the retreats, and still feel stuck…
If you’re ready to take off the spiritual mask and meet the real you…
Then you’re my people.
This is where spirituality meets truth. We don’t bypass the hard stuff; we transform it. We don’t just talk about quantum psychology; we apply it to shift your life.
Your Wake-Up Call
“You don’t become whole by being spiritual. You become whole by being real.”
The spiritual path isn’t about ascending to some perfect state. It’s about diving inward, shadows and all. If you’re feeling that quiet ache for something deeper, something truer, you’re ready to stop bypassing and start healing.
Ready to do the real work? Book a session with me, and let’s face the shadows together:
Work With Coach G. Dubai’s Life Coach
Want more tools to break free? Check out my blog for practical insights and quantum psychology practices:
Journal & Teachings
Sources:
- Welwood, J. (1984). Principles of Inner Work: Psychological and Spiritual.
- Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2020). The Journal of Positive Psychology.
- Gross, J. J. (2021). Emotion Regulation and Health Outcomes. Emotion.
- Siegel, D. J. (2019). The Neuroscience of Emotional Regulation. Neuroscience Letters.
- Germine, L., & Hooker, C. I. (2022). Subconscious Beliefs and Decision-Making. Frontiers in Psychology.
- Lumley, M. A., & Schubiner, H. (2023). Emotional Suppression and Psychosomatic Health. Journal of Psychosomatic Research.
