My Motherhood Journey : A lesson of Growth, Mistakes, Forgiveness and Love

Introduction: The Evolving Journey of Motherhood and Parenthood

Motherhood is an ever-changing journey—one that challenges, humbles, and transforms us. As parents, we often enter this path believing that we must have all the answers, that we must always be strong, always be right. But I have learned that the true essence of parenting lies not in perfection, but in growth.

Raising four children—one son now entering his teenage years and three daughters at different stages of childhood—has shown me that parenting is not a rigid formula but an evolving process. It has made me question, adapt, and unlearn many of the things I once believed about what it means to be a “good mother.” Along the way, I have realized that acknowledging my mistakes, embracing vulnerability, and being truly present are some of the greatest gifts I can offer my children.

This journey is filled with silent battles—moments of guilt, exhaustion, fear, and self-doubt. It is also filled with moments of immense joy, deep connection, and personal growth. Parenthood is not about controlling our children’s lives but about guiding them, allowing them to make mistakes, and helping them rise again. And in doing so, we not only shape them into resilient individuals, but we also evolve into better versions of ourselves.

The Courage to Admit Mistakes

In Motherhood, and as parents, we are conditioned to believe we must have all the answers. We assume that our authority should not be questioned, that our decisions are absolute. But I have learned that true strength lies in admitting when I am wrong. I have yelled when I should have listened. I have let exhaustion and stress cloud my judgment. I have been impatient when they needed me to be present. And I have apologized, sincerely and without hesitation.

The act of apologizing to my children has been humbling. At first, I worried that it would make me look weak, that I would lose authority. But I have seen the opposite unfold—when I acknowledge my mistakes, I teach them that perfection is not the goal, growth is. I show them that they, too, can own their missteps and make amends. It fosters trust, deepens our connection, and sets the foundation for a household where honesty and accountability are valued.

The Silent Battles of Motherhood

Motherhood is often portrayed as a joyful and fulfilling experience—and it is. But what is rarely talked about is the silent battles mothers fight every day.

There is the mental exhaustion—the constant thinking, planning, and worrying about our children’s well-being, their emotional health, their future. Even when we sleep, our minds never truly rest.

There is the guilt—the feeling that we are never doing enough, never being enough. If we work, we feel guilty for not being home enough. If we stay home, we feel guilty for not contributing financially. If we take time for ourselves, we feel selfish.

There is the emotional weight—absorbing our children’s pains and struggles, carrying their disappointments as if they were our own. When they are rejected, we feel rejected. When they cry, our hearts break alongside theirs.

There is the fear—fear of making the wrong decisions, fear of not preparing them enough for the world, fear of failing them in ways we may not even realize.

And yet, through it all, we keep going. Because motherhood is not about being fearless—it is about moving forward despite the fear.

But one of the greatest lessons I have learned is the importance of letting go of those mental barriers—the fear, the guilt, the self-doubt—because children feel their parents beyond the physical. They sense our stress, our worries, our inner struggles, even if we never say a word about them. A mother who is constantly anxious will unknowingly pass that anxiety onto her children. A mother who holds onto guilt will teach her children to carry unnecessary burdens. Letting go of these invisible weights is not just for our own well-being—it is for theirs too. When we find peace within ourselves, we give them permission to do the same.

Questioning My Parenting, Becoming a Better Mother

There have been nights where I lay awake, replaying moments in my mind, questioning if I handled things the right way. Should I have been more patient? Did I overreact? Am I guiding them or controlling them?

The answer, I’ve come to realize, is balance. Children need structure and discipline, but they also need freedom—the freedom to make mistakes, to learn, to develop their own sense of self. When we try to control every aspect of their growth, we risk killing their creativity and independence. My role as a mother is not to dictate their path, but to walk beside them, ready to offer guidance when they need it, and space when they don’t.

I have seen firsthand how each of my children is unique, each requiring different parenting approaches. What works for my son does not necessarily work for my daughters. One needs reassurance, another needs space to figure things out on her own, another thrives on structure, and my youngest simply needs me to be fully present. Understanding their individuality has been one of the greatest challenges but also the most rewarding realization.

Being Present: The True Gift of Parenthood

In the chaos of daily life, it is easy to get caught up in schedules, responsibilities, and distractions. But children feel their parents—they sense when we are physically there but emotionally absent. I have noticed the subtle changes in my children’s behavior when I am too preoccupied to give them my full attention. Their frustration, their withdrawal, their silent cries for connection.

I have learned that being present does not mean doing grand gestures or planning elaborate activities. It means truly listening when they speak. It means looking into their eyes when they share their thoughts. It means putting my phone down, setting work aside, and giving them my undivided attention. It means making them feel seen, heard, and valued.

Presence is not about the quantity of time but the quality. Even a few minutes of deep, meaningful connection can be more powerful than hours of distracted interactions.

Letting Them Make Mistakes and Rise From Them

One of the hardest things in my Motherhood journey is watching my children struggle. Every instinct tells me to shield them from failure, to intervene before they fall. But I have come to understand that struggle is necessary. Mistakes are not something to be feared, but something to be embraced. They teach resilience, problem-solving, and self-awareness.

When I see my children stumble, I remind myself that my job is not to prevent their pain but to help them navigate it. I want them to know that mistakes do not define them, but how they respond to those mistakes does. I want them to learn that failure is not the opposite of success but a part of it.

I have seen my children experience frustration, disappointment, and heartbreak. And while it is painful to witness, I have also seen their strength emerge from these moments. I have watched them pick themselves up, try again, and grow in ways they never would have if I had intervened too soon.

Breaking Generational Patterns

As parents, we often either replicate the parenting styles of our own upbringing or swing to the opposite extreme in an effort to compensate. But I have learned that true evolution lies in balance.

I have reflected on the ways I was raised, the things I appreciated, and the things I wished had been different. I have noticed the moments where I unconsciously repeat the patterns of my parents. And I have caught myself in times when I overcompensate, trying so hard not to make their mistakes that I create new ones of my own.

Each child is different. What worked for one generation may not work for the next. Our children are growing up in a world that is constantly evolving, and our parenting must evolve with it. Instead of rigidly adhering to the past or blindly rejecting it, I strive to adapt—to take the wisdom of my upbringing and merge it with the needs of my children today.

Honesty: The Foundation of Trust

Children feel when something is off. They sense when their parents are hiding things, when they are being dishonest, when they are pretending everything is fine when it isn’t. Lying to them, even with good intentions, does more harm than good.

I have found that being honest with my children, in an age-appropriate way, strengthens our relationship. When they ask difficult questions, I do not brush them off. When they see me struggling, I do not pretend to have it all together. I show them that emotions are normal, that vulnerability is not weakness, and that trust is built on truth.

Motherhood as a Mirror

My children have been my greatest teachers. Through them, I have seen my own wounds, my insecurities, and the parts of myself that needed healing. Parenting has forced me to confront my own impatience, my fears, and my need for control.

But it has also given me an endless well of love, a resilience I never knew I had, and the understanding that motherhood is not about being perfect.

IT IS ABOUT BEING REAL.

It is about showing up, admitting when we are wrong, being present, and walking this journey hand in hand with our children—growing alongside them, not just guiding them.

Because in the end, the best gift I can give them is not perfection. It is me, fully present, fully learning, and fully loving.

Practical Parenting Insights

• Teach them emotional intelligence: Help them name their feelings and understand that emotions are neither good nor bad—they just are. Instead of saying, “Don’t be sad,” say, “I see that you’re feeling sad. Do you want to talk about it?”
  
  
• Encourage independence: Let them try, fail, and try again. It’s tempting to do things for them, but true growth comes when they figure things out on their own.
  
  
• Model what you want to teach: Children learn more from what they see than what they are told. If you want them to be kind, be kind. If you want them to handle frustration well, show them how you handle yours.
  
  
• Listen more than you talk: Sometimes, they don’t need a solution—they just need to be heard.
  
  
• Set boundaries with love: Boundaries are not restrictions; they are a form of love. They provide a sense of security and structure that children need.

Conclusion: Embracing Parenthood as a Journey of Growth

Parenthood is not about getting everything right—it is about being willing to learn, to adapt, and to grow alongside our children. Through the struggles, the missteps, and the late-night self-reflections, I have learned that motherhood is not about raising perfect children, nor is it about being a perfect parent. It is about showing up, being honest, and creating an environment where love, trust, and growth thrive.

The greatest lesson I have learned is that my children do not need an infallible mother; they need a real one. One who listens, who apologizes, who admits when she is wrong, and who continuously strives to do better. They need a parent who understands that mistakes are not failures but opportunities to grow.

As I continue this journey, I remind myself daily that my role is not to mold my children into who I think they should be, but to help them discover who they truly are. To walk beside them, to guide them when they need direction, and to step back when they need to explore on their own.

At the heart of motherhood and parenthood is the understanding that love is not about control—it is about presence. And in being fully present, fully learning, and fully loving, we give our children the greatest gift of all: the freedom to become the best version of themselves.


Gloria.