Equanimity: What It Is And The Journey Through Life’s Storms

Equanimity, What is It?

Equanimity. It’s a word that we hear often, especially in the realms of spirituality and mindfulness, but what does it truly mean? For me, equanimity is the calm center in the eye of the storm. It’s the ability to remain balanced, to hold steady when life is throwing everything it has at you, chaos, joy, sorrow, or uncertainty… Well, especially chaos and uncertainty to be truly honest !
It’s more than just staying calm; it’s about acceptance without resistance, a surrender to the flow of life without letting your emotions take you on a wild ride.

Equanimity doesn’t mean you don’t feel things deeply. On the contrary, it means you are deeply present with whatever arises, but you don’t let it shake your core. It’s like being a tree, rooted firmly in the ground while life comes out with a whip. You witness the hits but you never break.

But it’s not easy. And this is where my story begins :

I remember a time quite a long ago now, when I felt anything but equanimous. Everything in my life was falling apart, or at least it felt that way. The relationship I had poured my heart was getting sour, and I was left with this gaping void. Work became overwhelming, every task felt like climbing a mountain. I was going through an intense awakening, and everything was crumbling, as if my reality was being destroyed, well it was. There were days I would wake up, and the weight of everything crushed me before I could even get out of bed. My mind was a mess of ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves,’ and my emotions seemed like they were completely in charge, driving me to despair.

I didn’t know what equanimity was at the time, and honestly, I wasn’t even looking for it. I was just trying to survive. But I’ll never forget the day when something in me shifted. I was walking, headphones in, completely disconnected from the world. Then, something simple happened. I noticed the trees.

It sounds ridiculous now, but at that moment, it was like seeing them for the first time. They were standing tall, even though the wind was shaking their branches, even though some leaves were falling to the ground. They just were, unmoved, strong, and at peace in the middle of their own little storms. And in that moment, something inside me softened.

It hit me then, like a quiet truth. Life was never going to stop sending storms, and I couldn’t keep fighting them. But what I could do was find that same quiet strength inside myself, the same rootedness I saw in those trees. I could stop letting my emotions drag me through the mud. I could feel them, accept them, but not let them destroy me.

That was the first step. But, of course, it’s not as simple as noticing a tree and magically becoming equanimous. It’s something I’ve had to practice, daily, sometimes moment to moment. There have been setbacks, moments where I felt like I was back at square one, swept away by the tides of anger, sadness, or frustration. But over time, I started to see the difference.

When a challenge came my way, instead of resisting or getting lost in an emotional whirlwind, I began to pause. I learned to observe the situation without reacting. It’s like standing on the shore and watching the waves crash in, knowing you don’t have to dive into them. You just watch, feel the power of the ocean, but stay grounded on the sand.

This isn’t about becoming numb, yet at times i wondered if my heart had turn into a stone. It’s not about avoiding feelings or pretending things don’t hurt when they do. It’s about accepting everything, the highs and the lows, with the same grace. It’s knowing that the joy you feel today may change tomorrow and that’s okay. The pain that seems endless now will shift too, because nothing stays the same. Life moves, emotions change, but your inner core, the place where equanimity lives, can stay steady, like the trunk of that tree in the wind.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through practicing equanimity is this: you can’t control life, but you can always control how you respond to it. I no longer feel like I’m at the mercy of my circumstances. When tough times come, I don’t panic. I don’t scramble to fix everything all at once. I breathe. I ground myself. I ask, “What is this moment teaching me?” And then I let go of the need to control the outcome.

It’s a continuous journey. Equanimity isn’t a place you arrive at and stay forever, it’s more like a state of being you visit, time and again, each time with a little more ease. And maybe that’s what it’s all about. Learning to visit that peaceful place within ourselves, more and more, until one day we wake up and realize we’ve built a home there.

So, wherever you are in life, I encourage you to try finding that quiet space within yourself. It doesn’t mean life will stop being hard. It just means you’ll find the strength to stand firm, to sway in the wind without breaking. You’ll feel everything, but none of it will have the power to uproot you.

That, to me, is the true power of equanimity. And trust me, it’s worth every step of the journey.

Let life bring its storms. You, my friend, can be the tree.