Commitment. It’s a word that sends shivers down the spine of so many. Why? Because it’s misunderstood, feared, and often avoided like a plague. Today, I had a coaching session with someone who embodies this struggle. Commitment wasn’t just a challenge in relationships, it was a hurdle in everything: people, goals, plans, you name it. Our conversation was a whirlwind of “if this happens,” “depending on how I feel,” and “what if?” Conditions. Excuses. Escape routes. It was exhausting just listening to it.
So, I cut through the noise with one question:
“What’s the guilt you’re carrying?”
Boom. That hit the mark. Because at the root of his hesitation wasn’t fear of failure or external circumstances, it was guilt. Guilt disguised as self-protection. Guilt that was setting him up to fail before he even took the first step. It was like his subconscious had already mapped out an exit plan. The reason of that guilt however, I’ll keep it personal because it is out of topic for this article.
But let’s get real about commitment. Most people don’t understand what it truly means, and that misunderstanding keeps them stuck, running from the very thing that could set them free. Here’s the truth:
What Commitment Really Is
- Commitment isn’t a promise.
Promises can break. They’re flimsy, tied to outcomes and conditions. Commitment? It’s ironclad. It doesn’t bend when life gets messy. - Commitment isn’t an intention.
Intentions are nice, they make your ego feel warm and fuzzy for a moment. But intentions are just the starting block. Commitment is deciding to run the race, no matter how tough the track gets. - Commitment is NOW.
It’s not “when she proves herself” or “if I feel safe.” It’s not waiting for the stars to align or the circumstances to be perfect. Commitment lives in the present tense. It’s a choice you make right now, unshaken by fears, excuses, or “what ifs.”
Commitment is unconditional. It doesn’t carry the weight of guilt because it’s not about controlling outcomes. When you break a promise, guilt creeps in. But commitment? It doesn’t break. It’s a decision to show up, fully, no matter what.
The Real Test of Commitment
During our session, I threw my client a scenario to test his mindset:
A woman looks you in the eyes and says, “I love you. I want to be with you.” You feel a spark inside. What do you do?
His response? A smirk, a shrug, and a classic dodge:
“I’ll take her on dates and see.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Not out of judgment, but because he missed the point entirely. He was still testing life, performing for approval, keeping one foot out the door. That’s not commitment, that’s playing it safe, staying in control, and setting himself up for the same old cycle of failure, guilt and avoidance.
The Power of Commitment
Here’s the raw, unfiltered truth: Commitment is all it takes.
When you commit, truly commit, something shifts. You stop testing life. You stop performing for validation. You stop running from the unknown. And when you do that, something incredible happens: the Universe shows up for you.
Commitment isn’t about guaranteeing an outcome. It’s about trusting yourself to handle whatever comes. It’s about stepping into the arena, fully present, and saying, “I’m all in.” That’s when doors open. That’s when clarity comes. That’s when life starts to flow.
Why People Run
So why do so many of us run from commitment? It’s simple: we’re scared of losing control. We’re scared of being vulnerable. We’re scared of failing. But here’s the kicker, running keeps you stuck. The endless “what ifs” and escape routes don’t protect you; they trap you in a cycle of guilt, doubt, and missed opportunities.
Break the Cycle
If you’re reading this and nodding along, recognizing your own hesitation, it’s time to ask yourself:
What’s the guilt you’re carrying?
What’s the story you’re telling yourself that keeps you from committing, to a relationship, a goal, or even to yourself?
Commitment isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up, right now, and choosing to move forward despite the fear. It’s about rewriting that subconscious exit plan and replacing it with a decision to stay in the game.
Your Call to Action
Ready to stop running and start committing? Here’s your next step:
Take one area of your life where you’ve been hesitating, whether it’s a relationship, a career goal, or a personal dream. Write down one action you can take today to commit to it fully. No conditions, no excuses, just one bold step.
And if you’re ready to dig deeper and break through the guilt and fear holding you back, I’m here to help. Book a coaching session with me at Coach G and let’s uncover what’s stopping you from living all in. Together, we’ll rewrite your story and unlock the life you’re meant to live.
Commit today. The Universe is waiting.
